I have nine lives. I’m a type I diabetic and rely on an insulin pump to live. Machines break, that’s reality. They wear out and break down over time. My insulin pump has broken a couple of times and each time I have ended up in the ICU with something called Diabetic Ketoacidosis or DKA for short. DKA can be caused by many things including extreme stress or even illness- common cold. In a matter of less then 5 hours I was holding on for dear life. I had never seen doctors and nurses go into such a panic. It’s pretty bad when the experts are having an oh-no-what-do-we-do response. My organs began to shut down one by one. It was so fast; I couldn’t keep track of time. Had I been there a day or three or seven? When it’s all said and done it would take me over six months to regain my sense of time and fully heal.
DKA was causing my body to go into septic shock. I have a smile on my face and I’m holding my mothers hand when I tell her that I don’t think I’m going to make it this time and I reassure her that it’s going to be ok. She is so strong and tries not to let me see her cry. I muster up all the energy I have left to tell her a joke before I can no longer keep my eyes open. I’m always joking or laughing or a combination of both but I’m so tired at this point and I let God know that I’m ready. I let Him know that I’m ready to go home. I’m not afraid to die. I never have been. I’ll miss the people who are still here, but in the end I know I’ll be in Heaven in the arms of my Savior… And besides I’m not going to die in a hospital. I’m going to die in a pastry shop eating delicious donuts, cakes, and chocolate anythings and did I mention that I’ll be old- I mean really old. God and I have already made that deal. 🙂
The chaplain comes in to talk with my mom and through the haze I hear the doctor say that my mom needs to call my family because I won’t make it through the night. They cannot save me. She called everyone and it a matter of minutes I had countless number of prayer chains… and I mean too many to count. Everyone back home was praying. They were calling my mom and encouraging her to keep faith, which is funny because I don’t think my mom was Christian then. My father and sister/ aunt (She says aunt and I say sister because we are only five years apart- closer than family) took a flight to get there in time. I still have the half heart necklace that she gave me with the words sisters inscribed on it. I think I just settled that argument for good 🙂
I’m pretty sure they thought it would be their last goodbye. I still cannot imagine the distress on their hearts. Everyone on both sides of my room did not survive. I watched their family grieve and my heart broke. I was the only one who lived. This is why I have an extreme fear of hospitals to this day. I’m not afraid to die but it’s the how that I’m a little hesitant about… My pump was covered under warranty so when I was discharged I received a new one. One little, two little, three BIG miracles all designed for me.
My insulin pump broke recently and this time I had no warranty. I had no insurance. I had no back up plan. I spent days of self-care trying to avoid hospital. I applied for assistance programs. DENIED. DENIED. And one for good measure DENIED. How much are those premiums again and you only cover what…? Diabetes is one of the costliest chronic diseases. Oh, and stress/ anxiety exacerbates the complications of Diabetes Exponentially. So I did the only thing I could think of… I asked for support, prayers, and donations. I could not even to begin to imagine the response and miracles sent my way. God literally began to move heaven and earth just for me.
In a matter of just a few short weeks I have enough money to purchase a new insulin pump under full warranty. FULL WARRENTY. I had a complete stranger donate her older model pump to get me a discount on a newer one- with warranty. Let me say that again. A COMPLETE STRANGER WAS WILLING TO SAVE MY LIFE. BLESSING. Countless prayers and good wishes. BLESSING. Donations. BLESSINGS. Four more years of health-covered under warranty lol. BLESSING. Life. MIRACLE.
I’m alive because of your kindness, love, and support. I’m alive because I have a purpose not yet accomplished on this earth. I have nine lives, amazing friends, loving family, and serve a God who is still in the business of miracles that never seem to run out. Please continue to always pray and love one another, as you have loved me.
Thank you, with every breath.